The Bariatric Goddess

NO! Not that kind of food porn! While comical to a degree, it's not addiction worthy.

No, what I'm addicted to now are pictures of food...delicious, nutritious (mostly), mouth watering food. This is what happens when a girl who loves to eat is limited to liquids for weeks at a time. She resorts to the next best thing...finding recipes of yummy food with beautifully appetizing pictures. I swear it's for research purposes only!! I mean, after all I'll be eating differently for the rest of my life!! I have to make sure I get my proteins in and still have some variety and enjoyment in my meals. This girl does NOT intend to live on protein shakes forever...no way...no how! So, I turn to food porn to get me through, to help me fantasize about those future meals that are just waiting for me. Forget that I can't even finish an entire yogurt at the moment, and it will be many months before I can eat "normally". And yes, I use the word normally very loosely. But still a girl can dream, and plan ahead. It's good to plan ahead, right?



Now if I'm honest I've been a closet food porn addict for as long as I can remember. I have stacks and stacks of recipe books. The ones with the full color images are my favorites. I've even got a weakness for those little recipe magazines they sell at the checkout line in the grocery store. I have a stash of special holiday ones with beautiful pictures of igloo shaped cheese balls with little black olive penguins, and a dozen different ways to make a witch's had from cookies or cupcakes. I once even had a food porn magazine subscription (or two) delivered right to my home. I keep my stash in a cabinet in the kitchen...top shelf.



And if cookbooks and magazines weren't enough...now we have the internet. There are more food blogs than I could ever hope to have the time to investigate...though I'm doing my best to find as many as I can. And I've found a shortcut....



If you haven't discovered it yet, may I introduce you to Pinterest. If you click the Pinterest link it will take you to my page on there. You'll notice that my first two boards are dedicated to food. You see all the other food porn addicts out there that have discovered Pinterest are pinning their favorite food porn there for the rest of us to peruse, find, and pin to our own boards. There is some amazing stuff on there! But let me warn you, Pinterest is an addiction all it's own. Coupled with food porn it could tie you to your computer for hours on end. Trust me, I know.



You may think that this is just going to defeat the whole purpose of me getting this surgery. That by focusing on food so much I will blow it all and end up sabotaging myself. But I don't see it that way. You see I know what I should and shouldn't eat. I know what is good for me and what is not. And I know that what will be most important for ME in being successful is still being able to enjoy foods of all kinds....IN MODERATION. That's what my new tiny tummy does for me. Initially it will limit what I eat in order to help me achieve a healthy weight. From that point on it will help me to do the one thing I've had the hardest time doing over the years...it will help me moderate how much of something I have.



Let me share with you part of the conversation I had with my surgeon the week before my surgery. But, shhh! Don't tell the nutritionists!! (That's what he told me, so I'm passing it on.) We were talking about all of the "no-no's" the nutritionists gave us as we were going through the pre-op process. No caffeine...EVER. No fried foods...EVER. No real sugar...EVER. The last two especially if you've had the RNY. Probably another factor in why I was hesitant to have this procedure before talking to my surgeon. But what he told us that day was that his goal was not to have me on a restrictive diet for the rest of my life. He feels that a mentality like that will only set us up for failure. It's the whole reason regular diets don't work long term...people can't stick to them. His goal for his patients is to give them a tool (pouch, sleeve, band) that will help them lose the weight and along the way learn to eat the way they should have eaten all along...the way most people should eat. The way he sees it if a patient of his has a craving for french fries and goes out and orders some with a meal, eats two of them and is satisfied, that is a success. It's better than telling that person they can never eat french fries again, the person trying desperately to avoid the craving until they finally give in to it in frustration and binge on the whole order of fries. Moderation. Two french fries that you feel no guilt over eating is far better for your health and weight than entire order of fries eaten in shame and misery that could potentially put you into a devastating downward spiral. He wants me to feel normal. He wants me to eat normally, but in smaller, moderate quantities. To me that sounds reasonable.



So, I continue with my food porn addiction. I look for fun ideas, healthy versions of indulgent foods, and sometimes just down right yummy, who cares how many calories, it looks good so I want to have a few bites of it food. Will I eat french fries every day? No. Will I snack on cakes and cookies every day? No. Will I watch my protein, carb, sugar, and calorie intake? Yes. Will I obsess or pile on the guilt when I don't have a perfect day? No. I know what needs to be the bulk of my diet...lean meats and proteins, veggies, and fruit, with a few whole grains and healthy fats. And most of the time, that's exactly what I'll work into my diet. Food porn gives me more options for that. It will keep me from getting bored with the same old thing like I am now with this liquid diet. I do look at recipes and food porn a lot. But I look at it through different eyes than before. I look to see if it is high in protein, if it incorporates veggies and grains, if it is something we could have on a regular basis, or if it's something to have once in a while. My creativity only goes so far in the kitchen. So I turn to others and their pretty pictures of their creations for inspiration for this new journey I'm on. A journey of limitations and indulgences...all in moderation of course.